So I have been trying to start a blog for years, but I always fail at it. Usually I just feel like people wouldn't want to hear what I have to say, or I just really don't know what I want to say because I have so many things going on in my brain at once. My friend Stacy told me the other day that I should start a blog because other moms might be going through the same thing I am, and it could help them to see that they are not alone. Seeing as this is my first blog post it will probably be kind of long so if you get bored easily I won't hold it against you for stopping here. Hey, I have to keep stopping because I am trying to cook dinner and do this at the same time. Multi-tasking is what us moms and even dads are best at right?
I guess I will start off with telling you guys a little about me. I am a 31 year old mother of two, a Psychology student, and a part-time server. My husband and children are amazing, but they drive me so crazy sometimes. I have to say I have wondered a time or two if it would just be healthier for them if I just ran away! Like right now when my son is complaining about eating dinner. Ok so, my daughter is 9 1/2 years old and she is really smart. She loves to sing and dance and I can't forget Minecraft and YouTube tutorials. My son is 8, and he loves all things Call of Duty and watching music videos on YouTube! He also has PDD, which is a mild form of Autism, and a mood disorder. He still suffers from seperation anxiety and he sneaks into our bedroom every single night to sleep with me. It does put a damper on mine and my husband's alone time. Sometimes I really feel like I am losing my mind. Like literally going batshit crazy. Like right now as I said. He acts like he can't do anything by himself. It's always "Mom get me a drink!" or "Mom! I said come here right now!" Are you serious? The fact that he thinks it's ok to talk to me like that or any other adult is still so astonishing. He also still doesn't understand that he doesn't get anything that way just amazes me. Sometimes I really wish it was ok to beat the crap out of him. It really doesn't work though. I can spank him, I can take his electronics away, and I can ground him, but it still doesn't phase him. Going back to the above comment, I really just want to run away or have myself locked in a padded room for awhile. It would really be a vacation! I know that I would really miss them though so that's what stops me, but the thought is still there. I'm sure everyone can agree with me on that. He is what pushes me to go to school and get my Psychology degree. I knpw that there has to be something else that can help him because the medicine sure as hell isn't.
I know that people say God won't give you more than you can handle, but I really question that. Most people in my social circle don't know everything that goes on in my life, and of they did I think they would understand why I sometimes have my moments. I really don't mean to go off on the random store clerk, or even the customer service people that I sometimes have to call, but man I hold so much in and I have to let it out at some point so I don't go on a murderous rampage. I really am sorry afterwards. I know that I'm not perfect, and I don't expect perfection from my family, but sometimes I just wish that they could say please and thank you. Is it really that hard? It's the least that they can do.
Alright, let me talk about my house for a minute. I try to keep it clean, I swear, I really do. It's just right after I mop the dogs decide that it's the perfect time to go outside and dig a hole and then come back in and rub that dirt all over the floors again. Or the kids accidently spill their drinks everywhere and forget to clean it up. How hard is it to grab a towel and clean up your mess? It then turns into World War III in my house, and I end up having to clean it up myself, or I forget about it because I have to go put out another fire somewhere else. I promise I will get to it eventually! Probably the next time I mop, or when my husband mops. He does help me out alot. Even though he has his moments too. I really think maybe we need a break. Like a real date where we can dress up and go eat an adult meal without me the kids screaming, yelling, and fighting, and without me burning the chili for chili dogs like I did tonight. Hopefully soon.
If you are still reading this thank you! I will try to post again soon because this is kind of therapeutic. Try not to go batshit crazy and I will do the same!
